My partner told me that he/she is asexual, but what does it mean exactly?

An asexual individual is a person who does not feel sexual attraction or has no interest in sexual activity with another person. It is not a disease or psychological disorder, it is just one of the manifestations of human sexuality. A2 brings together a set of possible questions people may have about asexuality along with explanations on the matter, and a page with videos that best explain the topic and some testimonials that show experiences lived by those people. You can see these sessions in our page’s link bar at the top.

I suspect that my partner is asexual. How can I confirm this suspicion?

The majority of asexual individuals, due to lack of visibility on the issue, do not know they are asexual, which is usually a generator of various internal conflicts. The asexual individual is pressured to behave and have feelings that are not consistent with what he or she really is, and not knowing that there are others with similar experiences, they live an internal conflict between trying to understand how their sexuality is constructed and trying to meet society’s expectations. Bearing this in mind, if you suspect that the person next to you is asexual, introducing him/her to asexuality may be an appropriate solution, but that introduction must be made based on an acceptance dialogue and mutual respect. It is also important to note that people stop having sex for many reasons, asexuality being just one of them. Therefore, if your partner has no interest in having sexual intercourse, he/she will not necessarily be asexual.

When I start talking about sex in our relationship, my partner avoids the conversation. How do I talk to him/her?

People often fear what they do not understand, and that is why many asexual individuals who do not know they are asexual avoid this kind of conversation with their partners because they cannot have a dialogue about what they do not know. Therefore, the introduction to asexuality would be an important means to overcome this affliction.

Does having a relationship with an asexual individual mean I would have to abstain from sex for my entire life?

It is very common that in a loving relationship the libido and need for sexual activity will not be compatible for both partners. So, one of the two parties in the relationship may feel more sexual attraction than the other. This, in turn, is not an indication that the relationship will not work, because any partnership requires the understanding of differences, mutual acceptance and finally, the need to give in to certain aspects. Some asexual individuals choose to have sex to satisfy their partner, even if such practice does not occur as frequently as would be the most suitable for him/her. Others, however, may feel repulsion to sex which turns sexual practice into a big sacrifice. In either cases the relationship is not impossible, but, as it has been said, there should be love, respect, understanding and dialogue in order to reach a consensus on the aspects which each part of the relationship has to give in to.

Does a relationship between a sexual and an asexual individual have a future?

There are cases of relationships between asexual and sexual individuals that work. Obviously, sexual incompatibility is a major obstacle, and that is exactly why people in those relationships need to strengthen their emotional bonds to deal with the problem, keep a sincere dialogue, and also need to learn to give in to certain aspects. It is not sexual incompatibility which leads to the end of a relationship, but how people deal with it.


Translated by MA Solutions

View the original source: Assexualidade